Quirky Wedding Rsvp Response

"Art of Love" - Ovid. In honor of pieśkom!

Art of Loving

(translated by Ejsmonda)

BOOK ONE

I

If any of you, Romans,
not know what love art
dokazać is now able, let
knowledge in this book looking for. Let

read carefully track the pages, and then let

apply my rules in practice. The trick is to manage
ship through the ocean depths
.
trick - riding on a chariot.
trick is too loving ... Thou art not
the secrets learned
me, Febusie.
not betrayed them with his singing
Forestry ptaszyny milusie ...
There appeared to me to Clio
nor her sister - goddesses,
Hezjodowi as if a flock of pastured
Askry yore in the valley. - Experience is

guide me today my only ...

II

young soldier, which
want to serve and to vest the pride
fresh sign of Venus ...
first - znaleź your bride.
Then - get her love. Having won
- localized keep. All

offensive operations, according to my advice run.
I am sure, my friend,
you will not regret it ...

III

When you are freed from the constraints, the successful use
time
selecting this, the spell which
will brighten your whole life.
Know that this beauty is not sweet
come upon you from heaven
on light wind one wing ...
Find it on the ground need.
fighter knows whither the trap
fast catching deer,
knows where he may face the cruel
Odyńcowi comply.
Fowler and - in the undergrowth which has pledged better
birds.
Rybak - in which the water grab
carp, ropes and pike.
you what you are looking for feminine beauty among Earth
padołów,
learn to be a place where abundant
will catch ...
that do not need to travel the seas
wave -
not need to look for your sweetheart
in the azure distance. Perseus and Andromeda let

comes from India burned - let
Phrygian shepherd in Greece
looking mistresses and wives. Sam Rome
so many beautiful women
in their old building now houses
that - one might say without exaggeration -
is a paradise in the world of feminine. How many berries is
Methymna,
sea - fish, Gargara - ears,
ptasząt far in the depths of forests,
how many stars are among the heavens,
So are many in our city a wonderful
young virgins.
not free in the sweet
Venus chose his capital.

IV

incomparable beauty
Romans were happy to find
under the portico of Pompey, the Forum
, galleries Livia. On Christmas
Adonisowych
opportunities are rare - but the best

pledge their traps can be in the theater. You'll find women
marvelous fortune:
this - you'll be able to cheat, you will
That glimpse,
another - give her loving,
As the ants carrying the seed
often create long
ranks and, as if distracted, some fly
by the second -
As bees that flock
fruną on bright days serene -
with clumps of fragrant thyme
collected treasures sweet honey -
Yes
women rush to the theater crowd unsurpassed.
Each wants to see - but especially every
wants to be seen. Romulus
first theater
united love. By kidnapping Sabine
won a gallant wife
Romans.
Since then, faithful to its tradition of sacred
gods grace,
theater pawned the virtue
trap and samotrzaski.

V

Circus is also a good primer
to make friends. Sit at the dear
as close as possible.
is among the crowd could be better guests.
overcrowding will force you soon
push even more.
girl endure it patiently ...
thy conversation or not despise.
Seeing the horses in the arena -
praises those she praises. Seeing
deities - show Venus,
what your heart is burning heat ...
When the dust of the arena will fall
white on the breast of your nice,
trembling with emotion, his hand gently whisks
these dusts.
And if the dust does not fall -
whisks well, never mind. Let
sees thy care,
let thy tenderness to agree ...

VI

There will come a moment when the triumphant,
shining with gold and purple, drawn by horses
snow
Caesar enters into our walls.
will go before him in chains
Parthians defeated the reins.
crowd of youths swarms
girls gather in their way.
When the kings of mountains, rivers, called
ask you your orb -
say, explains - Otherwise
some will be your undoing.
should satisfy your curiosity
maiden
talking about it, what you do not have
even a weak concept.
"This tiger błękitnowłosy -
dispense of explanations - and here
cane with a wreath on his brow
noble figure of the Euphrates ..."
Those prisoners - these are the chiefs.
Although they do not know - by the way, first name
SYP better
which may suit them.

VII

Feast also facilitate access to virgins and wine
(must confess it openly)
Karst is not their only one. Wine makes the heart
affectionate. Love soul irradiates
...
wine and love - is a flame ignited amid
flame.
And to think about beauty,
safer to wait for the day.
Night and wine - a bad adviser.
is specious glow torch.
Day saw of yore Parys
three goddesses ... Who thinks
day gem, girl, and purple,
this certainly did not stumble.
Night blurs the power failures
(probably agree with me).
At night there is no ugly women
(especially when it is very dark).

Aug

Is enumerate all the places where you arrange

can hunt for the mistress? My poem would then be
stutomowy ...
would be unnecessary -
as rightly it seems to me -
not be ignored, however, a nice bath
Fables ...
When love Fables,
the thought must come to us Fables,
where everyone gets a bath,
i. .. with the wound in the heart is.
there seething passions of life on a sunny beach
fashionable.
There on the virtue of maidens dybie
Roman "Esikus cheerful."

Sep

Previously enumerated the place where the pawn must
network
in which our beloved
involuntarily flew her. Now I want to tell
,
how to get her love you.
lovers of all countries!
My voice is the voice of heaven. You will get every woman

for which uczujesz Chrapek,
only localized where it belongs,
cleverly trap. This
what you will not surrender,
vouch to be surrendered,
vouch that the love of a chump,
only ... is not quite bold.
forbidden love beckons
as men like virgins.
husband hides his desires, but the virgins betrays
lice.

If we make the first steps had ceased, it would
at the feet of our women were
swarms of that day ...
the soft meadow, seeing the bull roars
heifer.
mare s at the sight of the stallion.
fades from the lust of a virgin. Go
to the fight confident in myself,
and then - I swear to you, you resist
with beautiful women
just one in a thousand ...

X

very first
your efforts should be to enter into intimacy with subretką
sweet beauty toward which
They experienced love.
subretka If this is your lady
confidence
not save any gifts,
and what you want - it happens ...
Lies in its power to seize
moment when Mrs.
is tender and sweet and Amor półomdleniu
summoned graces ...
How golden ears, so wonderful
radiate her sweet eyes.
the innermost depths of the soul
Venus enters smiling ... Where
Ilion was in mourning, has not won it
assault labor battalions.
The wedding day took his horse,
which hid inside his soldiers.
Choose a moment when thy beautiful
a jealous rival on fire.
you apply as an avenger. All
easily go away.
Use a good time While the wind blows
, while the sails swollen ...
wrong to be saying, that the devil
what suddenly ...
ask whether prudently acquire
considerations subreteczki nice?
answer is so difficult.
problem of - very complicated ... Sometimes
serving - get a lover
assistant,
other will want you to stay
for herself.
I advise to wait until the amorów
with the maid, because complications
different
zamącą then you peace.
two magpies do not grab the tail. First, finish the affair
with her mistress, and when
all goes well, then come
turn to her ...

Nov

Examine the ground by the sweet note. Inform
state of your soul. Let one thousand compliments

sing it your baby.
Najuniżeńszymi
beg to request the selected hours.
Do not be shy to ask, when asked whether or not the anger of the gods
soothes.
Pretend that you want to make a gift of the nicest
foot mistress
at the last minute but do not let ...
promises to ... good things ... The biggest trick is

the fact that's giving a
receive from his beloved
najjaskrawszy evidence of grace.
with anxiety not to lose profit,
so what "evidence" has come to
nothing you will not refuse ...
Summit desires you do not miss ... Study the art
tat,
I advise you, young Romans,
for beautiful words, it is easy to get
baby.
Let the simple, sincere let your hearts be
pronunciation -

bypasses all unnatural, artificial words. If
will send you a letter,
not read, does not open,
do not lose hope too soon.
Be confident and be stubborn.
What is softer than water, and what
harder than rock?
But the hardest of rocks
wydrążały soft water ...
If your list reads
but it does not respond,
soon start to respond, when it questions
reading ... If the answer
refused,
give you too do not Rozzano.
writing that you did not write,
wants ażebyś he wrote on ...

Dec

Simplicity - it is the virtue of men
and decoration ... So do not fryzuj
nor their hair pomade,
as they say - not ulizuj.
rough Theseus Ariadne
bought drinks delight,
Fedra raged out of love for the uncouth
Hipolit.
Adonis, who lives in forests,
became the lover of Venus.
Be clean, but do not avoid
swarthy, tanned complexion.
Let your gown does not create a disorderly
bruised clouds.
Do not have stained clothes. Do not forget to wash
teeth!
not wear sandals too big. Czub
not let your hedgehog.
Let thy beard and hair
best barbers shave.
Remember to clean your nails. The breath must smell
miles.
Otherwise - your lover will
run a mile. Larger

treatments may make the toilet kokoty
or husbands, husbands are shameful Coaxing
caress.

XIII

Drink as to balance
Mind and legs to keep.
Show off, so you can.
since neat - dancing lead.
If you have a beautiful voice - sing
(the best - love verses.) You have to seduce
your bride,
exploiting any means.

XIV

You can sneak into her heart
sounding clever compliments.
modest
is sensitive to the charm of flattery inconceivable.
promises not regret, because he likes them very
sex smooth.
vows of fidelity, you can take for Jupiter
witness. Hearing
lovers spell
laughs Jupiter man ... And he often
the Styx he swore to his wife
dochowywać faith ...
Lovers, emboldened the king of the heavens
example,
swear - as much as possible,
dotrzymujcie - in his footsteps ...

XV

Sometimes you may find useful
hot tears and lamentations.
As you know, tear softens even the hardest
diamonds.
A spell divine kisses
impunity of us who skip? Sweet love spells

they provide power only ...
kiss - if you do not prohibit
girl kissing ...
even kiss, kiss you if you
prohibited.
may begin to resist
and becomes a dangerous character.
But let not fall for it.
wants to be defeated.
But her delicate lips
not Hurt brutal caress.
Jeżelibyś was uncouth -
may be offended by it. Who

after taking kiss, and after the rest does not reach -
deserve to lose what you gained,
old, stupid loser ...
You say it is rape? But if you
female soul knew you,
you would know that there is nothing more pleasing
is not for them over the rape ... When
could be stormed, assumed
your beauty come out whole, you are

the hundredth generation will be even remember ... Bad
successful, the bitter joy on her face
the guests ...
But in the heart of the secret depths of up
will tremble with rage ...

______________________________________

I love dogs:)